Maybe this is stupid. I don't know if I should be angry or not. I don't like to quibble about money and yet, the feeling I have is disappointment, anger and even feeling unimportant. Not that money should mean anything...

Here's the situation. You guys can hit me with a 2x4 if I'm being stupid or selfish...

My husband and I have always had separate bank accounts. In the past we did usually have two joint accounts, but when he filed for D he insisted we close those accounts. Not long ago he inherited a large amount of money. That is his money and I would never expect him to share any of that with me. It's his inheritance. I have an inheritance from my grandmother (much MUCH smaller), but I've kept that to myself. It's basically my "security" since my husband makes 20x more than me and tends to threaten to leave me me about every 5 years... and did already D me once...

But here's the situation that bothered me. The whole thing seems petty, and yet I have these upset feelings about this...

From the estate that my H inherited from.... there is a car that needs to be sold. This car is newer and was quite expensive so blue book price right now is 90K. The other siblings didn't want the hassle of selling it (money to be split among all the siblings). When my H originally got the car he complained about having to sell it and told me he'd give me 5K as a commission if I sold it for him. To me 5K is a lot (not as much to my H), and I told him I'd be happy to do it and went ahead and took care of all that. Now, months later he's telling me he only said 1K.

Quite honestly, I was looking forward to paying off some bills, having extra money for Christmas which I buy for his whole family as well as my own, (and yes... a little botox. Hey, I do have to do something for myself once in awhile!!!). Anyhow, when he told me this I was kind of angry and disappointed. I told him I guess I should have gotten it in writing. Of course, he was furious about this. That we're married and I would even think I should get it in writing!

But gosh, I do feel I was misled. I've told him, maybe I misunderstood, maybe he was drunk when he mentioned this or just joking. I'm trying not to be upset with them, but it does bother me.

I spoke with some of my friends about it and they think the whole money separation in my marriage is weird and wrong. They think we should be a partnership. But he does pay all the bills (except my personal ones). Also, I'm used to living this way. I'm used to being financially independent from him. On the other hand, maybe he's just making it easier for himself when he decides he wants to exit the M again.

Anyhow, I'd be curious to hear other's thoughts on this

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.