TnGuy...just my two cents, but if you two took each other's virginity away, then she simply has no way other than within your sexual relationship to "know" what she likes, doesn't like, who she really is sexually.
And "who a woman really is sexually" is a difficult thing for each woman to sort of "grow" into. Many women don't really get into their own sexual self until they are in their 40's...after children, after their careers....basically after they take care of everything else in their lives, THEN they will focus on their sexuality.
So...you are at a bit of a disadvantage that you two were virgins when you met, because this means she has had no way to experiment a bit with her feelings, emotions, and sensations....and it also means that she relates "sex" with only what you and she have done thus far. And because so far, she has basically only been a willing partner but not enthusiastic, she has "learned" that this is what sex IS....how else could she define it or feel it or experience it?
The good news is that even if this doesn't change in the short term, it MAY change in the long term on her own as she gets older and moves forward in her life, as I described above.
The bad news is that unless you both are willing to be brutally honest and WORK TOGETHER on this issue, then she is unlikely to change and you will have to just accept the so-so sex with her.
