and that always scares me. I worry that she is going to come home and drop the D bomb or tell me that she is having PA. So I am working every day to prepare myself for the worst and take care of me.
Something that might make it less scary, though no more palatable, is to sit and really think what life would be like if you were divorced. or What would life be like if you discovered she had a PA. Takes the scary away. I'm not suggesting that you do this in order to move in that direction, but only to feel more prepared should it be necessary.
Some people are concerned about walking alone at night in a city. So on the way to walking to their car, they'll hold their keys in their hands. or maybe keep some mace in their purse. It doesn't mean they want to be attacked, but they have considered the possibility and taken some steps to prepare.
Or life insurance - I don't wanna die, but it's a possibility, so I have insurance for myself, so that the people that depend on me will be ok if I disappear. Preparing or thinking about that possibility doesn't mean I welcome it or want it.
Same thing here. Maybe you could think about it and just get comfortable with what it would look like. When I did this - envisioned a life divorced from my wife - I wrote it all down. I analyzed it in different ways. What would it look like emotionally, logistically, financially? What would be the impact on me, the kids, on her, on my extended family. I came away convinced that I was against divorce for good reasons. I felt calmer about the "D bomb", but still sad, if you know what I mean.
