The seeing you in the IKEA store was weird. If I was a guessing man, I'd say she is jealous and sad. Sad, most likely, because you moved on so easily. It's more about her pride, I suspect, than anything else. It seems fairly common that WAWs seem to like getting pined after...whether they want to try again or not. Hurts their feelings that you can actually survive without them.
I agree with Pd here..and I think this may just be the case in my sitch too. Basically Kerry I think at some point in both our sitches you and I walked away just as they did. We got to a point where we just could not do it anymore. I'm sure Kim and you STBX, will at some point feel a lot like you and I did when we discovered they were WAW's. In the last mediation..I could see the pain on Kim's face..I never mentioned it and acted "as if" I did not notice but it was there. That's not for us to worry about now I don't think.
I'm sure you will see it on your STBX's face also. Lodo seemed to get a glimpse from his Ex on their D day..they have the pain too..
What a fun guy you are. Your tongue in cheek posts always leave me laughing.
Sounds like your spouse is acting a bit weird.. giving gifts, commenting on your date, finding you in IKEA? Gives me the shivers. She's acting like you two are still each other's emotional support.
I have an image about spouses who leave. They are found swimming in a warm pool, luxuriating in the silkiness. They swim with their eyes closed and olfactory senses off. What was in their life is nothing compared to what they have now.
Unfortunately a time comes when the nose starts working and the eyes open. That soft hum becomes the buzzing of flies, the warmth is shocking, the scent is of decay. The pool is no longer idyllic. It's a cesspool. The warmth comes from a vile source, the stench starts to define what is real versus imagined.
But.. nothing is as bad as the hell they left, or so they say.
Oddly enough, the ones who are left behind can find themselves in the same scenario wondering why they never realized what that pool really was.
Maybe that's what happens when couples become individuals who are married to each other and choose to survive their relationship. Wouldn't it be wonderful if marriages had regular cleanings like septic tanks?
Hmm.. go figure..
*hugs*
Wow.. just edited this to say I just saw Mike's post.. and we're talking about the same thing.. neat!
I even noticed yesterday evening when picking the kids up at a farm that W was looking at me with a weird grin. I of course said some crude humor to throw her off. I was looking at 4 calves and one was suckling a part on another calf. I mentioned something about wondering if they would suckle me if I unzipped my pants. W laughed and said "go right ahead and try".
Just checking in. How are things in Oregon? Do you have your kids for Halloween? Are they still planning on trick-or-treating w/ GF40's daughter tomorrow?
My D is planning on picking out a Halloween costume for me to wear tonight, so that could be interesting.
The kids do have a fun Halloween planned - costumes all day at day care teachers house, I take them to my work for lunch and cubicle trick or treating, W takes them downtown Tigard for trick or treating at local business (ie liquor store, gun shop, post office) in the afternoon. G40 and her daughter and the kids and I will get free buffet for kids in costume followed by more candy collection in some rich neighborhood followed by a visit to a neighborhood with haunted houses.
I will wear my usual cleaver in the head gadget. Maybe I should get some fake blood this year.
This morning I talked with my lawyer regarding the latest counter offer from the leech. They wanted some back child support - my answer: nope you should have asked for that 8 months ago. They wanted to delay the divorce until February so W can still be on my health insurance as she has surgery coming up - my answer: nope, there is COBRA so as to continue on the health insurance but she needs to be the one to pay. We are willing to meet their lump sum payoff with the idea that the extra money we are giving is to help her pay for her own health insurance and the difference would have been lost by both sides if both court dates were to occur.
He thinks he can get it all settled on the phone and possibly I can be divorced before the status hearing this coming Monday. He spoke with the other lawyer who wanted to know how quick I could come up with the cash. I am looking into refinance today. It sure would be awesome if I could be officially divorced on Halloween! Ding Dong the witch is gone!
How perspective changes when you move on. Perhaps having another involvement helps take the mind off of what was and how much it hurt. That there's sunshine in life rather than heart wrenching storms.
All I can say is Hallowe'en will be either trick or treat for you today.
*hugs*
PS.. that's for the compliment about my writing. I first developed that image when I was wallowing in a depression, feeling lost and alone in my marriage. It seemed to apply with what's going on now, too.
The kids do have a fun Halloween planned - costumes all day at day care teachers house, I take them to my work for lunch and cubicle trick or treating, W takes them downtown Tigard for trick or treating at local business (ie liquor store, gun shop, post office) in the afternoon. G40 and her daughter and the kids and I will get free buffet for kids in costume followed by more candy collection in some rich neighborhood followed by a visit to a neighborhood with haunted houses.
I will wear my usual cleaver in the head gadget. Maybe I should get some fake blood this year.
This morning I talked with my lawyer regarding the latest counter offer from the leech. They wanted some back child support - my answer: nope you should have asked for that 8 months ago. They wanted to delay the divorce until February so W can still be on my health insurance as she has surgery coming up - my answer: nope, there is COBRA so as to continue on the health insurance but she needs to be the one to pay. We are willing to meet their lump sum payoff with the idea that the extra money we are giving is to help her pay for her own health insurance and the difference would have been lost by both sides if both court dates were to occur.
He thinks he can get it all settled on the phone and possibly I can be divorced before the status hearing this coming Monday. He spoke with the other lawyer who wanted to know how quick I could come up with the cash. I am looking into refinance today. It sure would be awesome if I could be officially divorced on Halloween! Ding Dong the witch is gone!
hang tough Kerry..I think COBRA Should work just fine for her.
