I forgot I mentioned something last night when I said I was ready to file.
When we went to Mexico 4 years ago, we got there and our resort sucked, not at all like it was on the internet site. H and I were both mad about he, he raised a stink with the manager and we got transferred to a much better resort.
We ordered a soup at one restaurant there (at the crappy resort) that we thought was a beef broth but it turned out to be full of crayfish, shrimp, mussels, everything H hates! And there were stray cats wandering around our legs IN the restaurant!
Through it all, we were a team. We got upset TOGETHER (at the resort management), and we LAUGHED together (at the cats and the freaky soup). I told H,
"This tells me you CAN work with me instead of against me, and you CAN choose to laugh at the little things that screw up our day, instead of getting angry. You can say it has been this way ALL ALONG, but we both know that isn't true, we have been happy together MANY MANY TIMES. So I am okay filing b/c I know I am not wishing for the impossible, but you are choosing to be different..."
While I talked about our trip H was nodding in agreement about how we had been a team then, even if we aren't today (he was also crying). That is when he finally interjected, that he felt that way again these past few days, like we could be "good", but he didn't understand what made the difference or how to know if it would last.......
