I have taken this entire situation and done my best to look at it as an opportunity to grow as a person. The anger issue has subsided because I realized how much pressure I was putting upon myself – setting unattainable goals & then beating myself up for not realizing them. Harping on myself about mistakes in the past, worrying so much about the future that I was never living for today. I have had an epiphany about what is important in my life, how I measure success. It’s all about my kids. Providing them the tools they will need to succeed in life – how to resolve conflict without resorting to anger, how to be a good listener, what is really important in life. They are the most important thing I have.
K,
I just read your sitch (first post) and just wanted to address that one since we seem to be in a similar sitch. My W also nover told me how unhappy she was and now is a post-bomb, live-in WAW. I can't imagine how tough it must be to be separated from your kids. I, too, think that my kids are everything to me - I've always known it.
Without reading your entire first thread, I would first say how great your immediate changes seemed to be - from your behavior to your changed responses and internal expectations. I can't address the OM sitch or how that may last or wear off, but others have alluded to that as a fantasy state.
I think all we can do at times is become the most amazing person we can, be supportive and praising, and hope that our WAWs will see the huge value of keeping a family together and giving their Hs another chance. I have done many similar changes and now I try to exercise ultimate patience while GALing for MYSELF and praying hard.
