Surrendering to hope

[istherehope]

Hi Sep,

Thanks! Just thought I'd check the boards and was happy to see your post :).

I think I need to make the decision about where I stay before I leave the house tomorrow morning, as I want to leave the appropriate note. He gets home around 1 PM, so he'll need to either know I'm coming home late, or not coming home at all. I'm tending toward staying the night away at this point, as it is a complete 180, and will be entirely unexpected. If I wait to hear from him tomorrow, there is the chance that he will ask me not to come home, slim but possible, again taking away my strength in this situation. There is also the equally slim chance that if I say I am staying at a friend's, he will tell me to come home instead. At least this way I would know he wanted me there.

He hasn't reached out at all today, which I find a bit weird and frustrating. Of course given the fact that he doesn't fly out until 340 AM Cairo time, I may still get a text or an email or something, though I'd say it's doubtful at this point.

So my idea now, barring positive contact first, is to leave a note letting him know that I left candy for the trick or treaters, dinner and beers in the fridge, and that I'm planning to stay the night at a friend's house to give him time to decompress and recharge since I know how tiring business travel can be. I'll let him know that I'm planning to take the train home Saturday morning, and that he should just let me know if plans change.

I'm not sure if our plans are for Saturday or Sunday, but I am going to assume they are Saturday, giving him the option to change them.

I feel very weird about this, but it does sound empowering, so might be the right thing to do. Anyway, as I said, am still looking for a sign one way or the other :).

ITH