Here I am....real life and all.

[Starshyne]

I always tried to GAL...started taking guitar lessons and getting out more. But I did allow (now x) H to walk all over me. But looking back, I really don't know how I could have done anything differently.

It is hard to say "no" to him. I realize that I do still love him, but it is a different love than what I once had. My heart wants to take him back, but my head reminds me that would be a mistake because he hasn't made any changes to his life. I would just be setting myself up for him to cheat on me again. I know that I could not emotionally handle being cheated on for a 3rd time in my life. It is just way too much for a person to deal with and I don't have it in me to do it again.

I am striving to find happiness is my life. Some days are better than others. I dont' think anything is going anywhere with the high school guy. (that makes it sound like he is a guy who is in high school, doesn't it? lol). I feel like he hangs out with me because he hasnt' found anyone else to hang out with. I think he is looking for a rich woman, which I am not and will never be! Although....unlike many....I now have so much more money than I ever had when I was married! All of that money that I used to spend on my husband is now all mine!