The one thing that really concerns me is that this game she plays all the time. She plays it every day and there is one guy inparticular that she spends a lot of time with. I think she is completely having an emotional relationship with him. Both of them log off at the same time at night, and when she gets up in the morning, they're on together again. For instance, she got up at 5am this morning and when I came down 10 mins later, there she was - in the game taking to this guy again. If I mention anything about it, "he's a friend" and she gets all defensive about me taking the game away from her and that if I do "she won't be at home - she'll go out way much more" because this is her socialization.
So I'm just completely letting it go for now. At least she is here in the house and I'm not wondering where she is at at night. I'm going to stay my course and act like nothing is wrong. I think she is probably wondering why I haven't said I love you to her or touched here in the past 2-3 days. I'm going to continue to back off 100% like I was told I need to. I'm sure she has noticed that I haven't said anything about the game either. I guess it will take some time for her to realize that I've backed off from all that.
When I seen her this morning when I got up I said "Goodmorning" and she said the same back in a friendly tone. Then we talked about why she was up.. Our daughter slept with us and she was kicking her in bed so she didn't sleep well last night.
One thing that I know was a big issue for her was my relationship with my Dad. We've struggled for 30 years to have anything because he is an alcoholic and drug addict. I've had issues with him over the years and yesterday I picked up the phone and called him to tell him I was thinking about him and that I loved him. Then last night he called and I told him more about what was going on. He said he wants to be there for me and he even said that what I have gone through he feels most of it was his fault. This is very unlike him so I hope this is a breakthrough. I told her that and she was interested to hear what I said. I thought about not telling her and letting her see on her own but that wouldn't be "friend" like. If she really was my friend I would share a big development like this with her - so I did.
I'm sure today will start off the same.. I'll go take a shower and then get ready for work and then I'll leave without touching her or saying ILY. I'm sure that will be completely fine.
This is just so damn wierd. It's hard for me to not touch her or tell her ILY. She is a wonderful person and she means a lot to me so backing off is difficult. I'm doing it, but it is not easy. I think I'm going to go out to the other room and read The Divorce Remedy a bit more before I jump in the shower.
