Good Morning sweetie! I am sorry I wasnt around last night. I am trying to get to bed early these days, trying to "recharge"...
Reading about your L's comment I remembered that high class shark lawyer I went to(one of the three). He heard my story, asked a couple of questions and then he said, "Maria, I know you are in pain but I've been around and I will represent you if you want me to but I dont think you will need me. Your H doesnt sound like he wants a D. People that want a divorce, just do it. He wants a "leave of absence" until he figures out everything. Dont you know of anybody that can grab him from his shirt and tell him he is crazy for hurting you and the kids so much?" Does that sound familiar?
Anyway, your H can go crazy all he wants, he can be an insensitive jerk, he can go back and forth , he can "play" you intentionally or not, he can hate himself all he wants, he can do whatever. After all these months you really need to "practice" detachement because he'll drive you crazy. Even if he moves out of the house, he will still act like that. He cant be any other way. That's who he is right now; a weak, confused, panicked, unfair,crazy little man.
I am sorry. It's disappointing to realise your "other half" is less than half, maybe even less that "a quarter of the one" you two were... He cant step up and become who he was or even better cause right now it's beyond his powers.
Remember this has to be "your game your rules", Love xxxx K
