Two WAS's- is it really meant to be or walk away?

[Loving_Life]

Tonight stbx called just like he said he would to talk about bills (for our final settlement). The call went prettty decent. I was calm, focused on bills, flirted just a tiny bit, but primarily 'acted as if'. I ended the call after 1/2 hr- said 'I don't think we have much more to talk about then- I've got to go'(in a friendly way) He said well, should we talk again in a few days? I said email me. At one point he made a comment about how it felt good to no longer feel guilty or feel responsible for another person. I said 'forgive, move on, and then have fun! That's what I'm doing!' (In a previous call, he said he always felt guilty he could never give what he thought I deserved to the M- I told him that's ok- I didn't ever mean to make you feel that way. He said that he felt that way due his own expectations, that it didn't have to do w. me)His primary reason for wanting the D is still 'He doesn't want an R with anyone- he feels an R takes too much away from his time for his business. He needs to choose between having an R and having his business. He may never want an R again in his life. He claims there are no women he's interested in. He even turns down invites to the strip club b/c it's a waste of his time and money. He tells his guy friends to bring over a movie instead. (Yes he's depressed and having emotional issues- he's shutting down, putting up a wall etc.) He admitted that he prioritizes his business b/c it can never hurt him in a recent convo too. I apologized for ever hurting him- He said that he doesn't blame me anymore, that it's not about me.

Question for the guys, is there any chance left for me with a guy who is feeling this way?

Anyway, back to tonight's call at one point he made some slightly teasing comment about how I was an old lady and I said 'well I'm a hot old lady!' He said he was tired tonight- but he was nice throughout the call. He was glad we 'were able to talk about things w. each other still' but he wants to move on with the D without delays and was asking ?'s about when things will happen. When will he receive the proposed settlement, when would a final hearing be? I told him I'd check w. my lawyer on that- he'll be notified.

Well, my M may be over. And I am feeling ok. Caring for another person sometimes means it's best to let them go. If it was meant to be, he will come back toward me- if not then there is someone better out there for me. I will continue to DB- but I need to decide whether to tell my lawyer to go ahead. One thing my lawyer mentioned is that there could be a "Status Check" hearing if we hold off too long. Then an explanation would have to be made to the court as to why the D wasn't progressing. Stbx would not be on board with this. Has anyone else dealt w. this? I've kind of been feeling anxious lately and if I can successfully let this go, I may feel calmer again- I don't know. I feel more like I can 'move on' if he's not in my life. That's a big reason why I decided to move away right away when we separated again. I literally moved 2,000 miles away and to a better city where I'm having fun and meeting tons of new people!

I'm going dark again. Possibly I will DB through a couple emails, but I think I need to pretty much end all contact. I told him I wasn't interested in being 'friends' if we get a D. The only time he has shown interest is when I am unavailable for long periods of time, and he may not get to the point where he is able to feel good emotionally- about himself or our M. I guess I know that I have put a lot in over the last 12 yrs and even a previous S that I pieced through DB. So, this is my LRT time.

If anyone has thoughts for me, please feel free to share! I definitely would like to stick around here for a while, I hope I have some good advice to offer from my previous experience to others.