Look at it a different way - enter the darkness on a high note. I actually don't think a close night including passionate sex is a bad thing - it kind of shows your wife how good you two can interact and be together.
Now would be a good time - saying "we can't be this good together while you are with om so this ends till om ends"
Having wedding photos on an ipod bought by om is bizarre. She really does seem to be extremely confused.
You have to go dark - this could go on for year. This situation needs to end one way or the other and going dark seems to be the only way.
Just reminded me - night before my w left she trimmed my hair and i recipricated by trimming her pubic hair - looking back it seems surreal that's how we spent our last night under the dame roof.
I get massages from my wife but unlike you if one ever developed into sex this nightmare would be over and we'd be back together.
