AURGH. Right when I get adjusted to things as they are, more things hit. STBX is going to Hawaii with OW and her 10-year old son. Right that they just reconnected and if they did, what kind of a Mom takes her boyfriend of three weeks on vacation with her and her son?
Loserville, and I'm talking about my STBX.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Wow, it's been two months since I posted. Things have really changed.
I'm working full-time. A friend recruited me for her company and it's more than perfect. Great salary, benefits, located less than one mile from my home, bike-friendly, flexible hours, incredible opportunity and I like the industry (energy efficiency focused software company). Life as a working Mom is taking an adjustment.
House did not sell. But, H's EA is giving him the money to buy me out in exchange for partial ownership of the house. And he still says they just started dating in August. Right. It's great that the kids won't have to leave their house, their neighbors. Yet having the homewrecker pay for me to leave definitely makes things difficult emotionally for me and more than messy. A friend's mom said something that really helped, however: "I don't know why she's having a problem with it. She gets the b*tch's money and gets rid of the arsehole!"
I'm still dating CBK. We have a great relationship and I'm really thankful to have his support in my life. We're eyes-wide-open about things and are being cautious. But it's a source of joy for both of us. We have fun! We both see so much that we were missing and appreciate things and life much more. Neither one of us chose where we ended and would have moved mountains if we could have and it's nice to share those values. We take it day-by-day and value and respect each other.
Kids are doing OK. Fairly well, all things considered, but I know this hurts them. I'm trying to do the best I can. I love my children more than anything and they know that. That's the best thing I can do.
Well, that's it in a nutshell right now. Howdy everyone!
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
He is an idiot, without doubt. However, as much as I hate where he put us, I'm not sad about losing him. I'm sad about losing my family unit, about losing my marriage, which I valued. Him? Not so much of a loss. Our R? Not so much of a loss. I won't ever make the mistakes I made in our marriage. I won't ever take things for granted again. Life, and love, is meant to be lived, not just viewed. I'm living and loving again!
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
You sound like a different person than the one I met late one night some months ago! Was it really almost a year? Time flies when you are having fun, I guess!
Hey, I am happy for you!! Life has a way to make things "right" again, hasnt it? I guess when the going gets really tough we all have to have faith that things WILL work out at the end the best possible way... Love K
Well, STBXH found this site and has been reading my posts.
Guess he's really pissed that I made that comment about taking the bitch's money and losing the [censored]. Now he's reluctant to share any personal details of his life or the OW's life for fear it's going to end up here. Like everyone in the world, our community or our friends know that I'm often CW68 on the big 'ole WWW and google my posts to see what's up. He actually said that my postings hurt our kids!
He meant it because it affects how he thinks of me, but all I could think of was he cheated, he found another, he ended our marriage and ended up with the OW and he says THIS hurts our kids? I wish he could just look at the situation from an outsider's perspective. All my intent was to save my marriage.
All I can say is I'm not sure what he expected when he decided to end our marriage. Like divorce is good, is fun, is easy? He doesn't like the fact that I think he's an [censored].
Have I made mistakes? You bet. But all-in-all, if you read my posts here you can see that I was a hurt, lost person who just wanted to save her marriage and her family. I didn't cheat, I didn't end things, I was willing to put in EVERYTHING and ANYTHING that was needed to uphold my vows and I can stand firmly behind my morals. He told me today that he can, too. Sure hope my kids don't think his morals are good enough to model theirs after.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Sorry about that. You are right, though, you don't have anything to be ashamed of. He does, so he will blame you. That's how it goes. Don't let it get you down!
