I was cooking when he came up behind me tugging @ my hair so my head was facing up and then he covered my eyes for what seem a long time as I was telling him to let me go as I was cooking. I think he was about to kiss me when he whispered for me to kiss him & I said NO. He wanted sex and I said NO, told me ok your loss as he finally left after attempting several times for me to say ok. Next time I wont be so nice,
Chicki, this is not ok. get it in writing. Get it on letterhead from a legal firm. If your prior attorney won't do it, seek out a women's abuse group - they will have free legal counsel who will be glad to send out a letter to this effect:
It is not ok for him to ask you for sex. It is not ok for him to ask you for a kiss. It is not ok for him to come into the house. It is not ok for him to touch your hair or cover your eyes. It is unwanted and inappropriate and he needs to stop.
Usually I try to make suggestions or hints, but in this case I want to be more direct: Do what I suggest. See an attorney and get this letter sent out to him. Be specific in the letter. Do it. Don't delay.
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I really have to stand up to him a guess in a mean way for him to understsand Im serious.
No: you do not have to be mean. you DO have to be firm and clear. It is not mean to say "NO." You do not have to yell at him, use foul language, raise your voice, call him names, or insult him. (any of which might be considered "mean".) In fact, any of those things will make your statement less effective. You need to be clear, and firm, and calm. State your desires verbally, and then follow up with a letter, clearly written, and specific.
I am all for reconciliation and restoration of marriages, even after divorce. But the reconciliation has to be based on mutual respect. He does not respect you, or your boundaries. This is not what you need. It is not healthy for you.
