I have noticed over the past couple of days, credit card fiasco, that ex is acting like a rebellious child. He gets on the kids about remembering to turn things in, and how it is their responsibility to get things done on time or talk to the teacher if they forgot it or whatever. Do we see the hypocrisy??
Yet I say, please let me know what you find out after talking to the 2 companies that he has to talk to and he practically throws a hissy! I know!! I will handle it!! Well apparently not because if you had done what you should have, you would not be looking at these big bills now with late fees! Oh his excuse for not getting a second job...There is NO Way I could make enough in one month to pay what is now due.
He also acts as if it is my fault that he has "all" the bills to pay. I was fine when I just had mine to handle and now I have all of these too, he exclaims. What a pathetic delusional man.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
On a good note though I am learning that I don't have to have the last word and I don't have to make comments under my breath! Took a while, but this is a good test to see if those lessons are sticking.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
On a good note though I am learning that I don't have to have the last word and I don't have to make comments under my breath! Took a while, but this is a good test to see if those lessons are sticking.
What's your secret?
I still catch myself uttering under my breath, ... even while hearing a voicemail I've already heard days ago.
Oh his excuse for not getting a second job...There is NO Way I could make enough in one month to pay what is now due.
He also acts as if it is my fault that he has "all" the bills to pay. I was fine when I just had mine to handle and now I have all of these too, he exclaims. What a pathetic delusional man.
kat
Delusional. So he'd rather go to jail than get a 2nd job and/or roommate? And the thing is if he got a 2nd job, and was making effort to pay his debts, I don't think any judge would put him in jail. But if you make no effort at all???
My C says that people that blame their problems on others like that is one of the hardest things to treat in therapy. I guess b/c they can't admit the problem is them in the first place? If you can't do that, you won't do anything to work on yourself? Karen
I knew it was really irrating to him and just made things worse when they didn't need to be. He naturally doesn't see what an arse he is being, so really doesn't help for me to always be pointing it out.
Now during the heated conversations the last few days we have been cutting each other off left and right. If we were cars, we would not be drivable. lol
I can't save him from the mess he is making, he has to get the answers. When I asked him why he didn't tell me that he hadn't paid the bills he said because he knew how I would react i.e. go ballistic, which I did. Just like a teen. MLC is not for the faint of heart, so my heart has moved on.
I am trying to take steps to proactively protect myself but I also have to make him own up to this mess he has created. Sorry Honey, I am not your Momma!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Update of latest situation. Ex went home sick and didn't bother to call the credit card companies. Right as I was walking in the door, the phone is ringing. I missed it but checked the phone, it was a credit card call. OMG I have never had this happen and now they are calling me because of ex being irresponsible and not paying the bills.
He doesn't care that he is taking me down with him, his philosophy is that he will file bankrupcy, pay 90 a month for 5 years and be done and then they will come after me, or they will come after me now I don't know when. It doesn't care that our son will need to be getting a loan in 2 years for college or that my car will be dying in a couple of years and that I will need to replace it. Plain and simple he just doesn't care.
He doesn't care that he isn't being responsible, he just doesn't care about anything but himself and skank. I will be talking to a lawyer tomorrow to see what I need to do.
kat
PS, I saw that I typed "IT" when I meant He. I was going to correct it but I feel it is probably more appropriate.
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
