When he tells you it's over.....believe him

[Changed Woman]

Hello, All-

I wanted to take a moment and say thank you to everyone that's taken the time to post to me....your words of encouragement and great advice were very appreciated. I think this will be my last post.

H and I had counseling tonight. C pushed about what the intent of our sessions was and H took the opportunity to tell me that he knows it is over...does not have the same feelings for me...knows he never will and to say anything different would be to lead me on. He said he doesn't think it would be fair to give me hope that doesn't exist.

So on the drive home I reflected on the last 9 months of hell (4 months before he moved out and 5 months since) and had to ask myself..."what was I thinking???" He told me OVER and OVER he was through....but I just kept hanging on to the tiny signs of hope I thought I saw...deluding myself into thinking our R had a chance. I cannot fault him....he was honest always....I was the one being dishonest....dishonest to myself.

I feel like I let ME down...like I should have told this broken woman to pick herself up by the bootstraps and go on....to stop pining away for someone lost to her. I feel like I've done myself a disservice by trying to keep my hope alive.

To all of you with more fortitude than I...I hope you win the fight. I hope you find yourselves back in the arms of the one you love and that you find the fairytale ending. For me...I'm just not that strong. I'm done DBing...no point in it. Reality really does bite.

[nw626]

Hi CW
I don't know your sitch that well but I know you put up a good fight for your marriage. You did the best that you can.
You didn't let yourself down. You probably know yourself better than before. Soon you will know what exactly that you want.
It's not how we fall that matters, but how we get up.
I know you will be strong for the days to come.
Keep you chin up.
We are here for you.
Good luck

NW626

[everhope]

CW

I've come to the same conclusion. My W is the same - she's been consitent from th beginning just like your H. Sometimes you just have to know when to quit.

Good luck to you sorting your life out. It can only get better

[NikB]

(((CW)))

I hope you'll stick around and post on Surviving - it could be a great place for you. Lots of people struggling with the very same things.

I'm so sorry for your C session. I hope Kristine helped you get through it - I know it was tough to hear.

I say it often... DB'ing is more about saving you than the M, so I hope you will continue to at least apply the principles in terms of setting goals, GAL, taking good care of yourself, etc. (saving the M is more like the icing on the cake, if it happens).

If you don't keep posting, I hope you find me over in the "alternate universe" on FB... I should be easy to find.

(((CW))))