Don't Think I Don't Think About It

[RMG77739]

Am I to take your meaning to be that these WAS were always of this mind, that it was merely a matter of time before they acted on these impulses?

Yes.... It could be emotional or physical issues.. Or meeting the "wrong person".... Someone who encourages them to leave the M instead of working on it.... This could be same sex friend or OP......

Not to toot my own horn....
But, a Catherine Bell clone could have shown up on my front porch...
Wearing only a trench coat and flashed me her "goods".........
And told me she wanted to waste no time...
She wanted to go at it in my foyer....
I would have told her I am flattered...
But, I am a married man AND I love my W VERY MUCH!
No second thoughts........
My M is too important......

Perhaps "Alien" is a bit too easy of a label to describe the phenomena. I sense you have a particular objection to the term because you think it demeans or dehumanizes the WAS in the mind of the LBS?

No, the "alien" analogy places the blame for the WAS on a "third" party... That is the denial aspect.... Instead of assigning responsibility where it squarely belongs... On the spouse who leaves.....

You will indeed find stories about never-faithful spouses in other venues, but what is keenly vexing about these WAS' is that they are often faithful, moral-bound people in long-term relationships with their spouses for many years when all of a sudden they seem to have a switch thrown in their psyches that causes them to abandon their spouse, the children, their families and their ideals to pursue another person.

Hmmm.... I do not get this..... Faithful is faithful for life... Not faithful for five, ten or twenty years....... Again, this sounds like an excuse...... So, one gets "brownie points" for being faithful for 12 years.... AND running off with his smoking hot 23 year old secretary? In my opinion, flawed thinking.... Faithful for 12 minutes or 12 years AND unfaithful..... Still unfaithful..... It is like being "a little pregnant"... This is VERY black and white.....

But you also used the term "free will" here, alluding to the choices made by the WAS... Now the question is: Did the choices these WAS take make them into the person they are? Or did the person they are determine the choices they made?

They simply are who they are.... Their character, morals and values determined their actions......

Make no mistake, the WAS has "free will"..... He or she could have had the stones to decide to work on the M...... They just decided to put aside any integrity they formerly may have had and took the coward's way out.....

RMG