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Puppy,

I know you have said that... I was waiting for him to decide because he knew I wanted to save our marriage..HE is the one that was going back and forth. Yes he has hurt me... but I still wanted a chance to make it work.

He has decided to stay with her. Makes me sick. But I will not contact him..PERIOD. Its bad enough having to look at her ugly a** at work..
I ran into her at the timeclock today..of course she was texting him..... I am sure..since she has no other friends.

Just got home from tanning...
Soccer practice in an hour.

I will be the better person..I just wish he would have a revalation and miss me like crazy... doesnt hurt to dream.

Just one more comment... since he wants to be with her....do you think he will feel like he is losing me if that is his choice?

Sandy


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Originally Posted By: san
Just one more comment... since he wants to be with her....do you think he will feel like he is losing me if that is his choice?



Sandy, I'm not sure I understand your question?

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"I just wish he would have a revalation and miss me like crazy... doesnt hurt to dream."

The only way for this to happen is for you to act as if he is losing you. So, no more focusing on what he is doing with his life or the OW. As hard as it is, you have to let him go and start finding ways to cheer yourself up, without him.


Me 47, W 32,D 6,
Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7
Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09

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Originally Posted By: native
"I just wish he would have a revalation and miss me like crazy... doesnt hurt to dream."

The only way for this to happen is for you to act as if he is losing you. So, no more focusing on what he is doing with his life or the OW. As hard as it is, you have to let him go and start finding ways to cheer yourself up, without him.


Sandy,

I know this sounds simplistic, but it's absolutely spot-on. There are no "magic" answers here, just this same piece of advice that you've been given over and over and over again.

Simple. Easy? -- NO WAY -- but simple.

Puppy

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san Offline OP
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I am listening. To him, to you, to everyone. I have given up..walked away..no contact....let him go..

I am hurting like crazy... I lost my best friend... and the love of my life.

I am sitting here crying..I log on and he forwards me joke emails from work.
I had to ask him not to..it hurts to much just to see his email address in my in box.


If he is done..he knows my emotions, my commitment and the pain I am in... he also needs to respect me and let me heal.

I hate this... so much!

Sandy


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Sandy, I have followed your sitch a bit. never posted; but as you're hurting, I hurt with you.

Might I suggest something if you can't stand to see his e-mail address? Can you block it or have his sent to the junk folder? I don't know if this is a primary means of communication between the two of you about kids/finances. But if it isn't, I would block the address somehow to help alleviate the pain.

Just a suggestion.

I'm sorry you're having a bad day.


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Thanks Married,

I hate to block it... its his work and we sometimes do correspond that way.

Funny, he responded with :hmmmmm.guess nice is not on the agenda.

I had to send back to him :Babe....

I wasn't asking for you not to be nice . Please understand... My crazy heart sees your name sending emails..and I think..hmmm..he is thinking of ME. But, I know the reality.. your not. I am trying to heal. I am hurting. You dont understand, I know. I dont expect you too..I deserve this pain.
I hurt you thru the years...very unintentional just so you know...I hate myself for who I was. I lost the love of my life and my children lost the family unit. Please dont ever question my love..obviously you did..but I really do love you..

I am struggling with how to stop thinking, feeling and being emotional about us.

San

well... now there is no question how I feel.


Thanks for caring
Sandy


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"I deserve this pain"???? WTF????

Sandy, please don't do this. E-mails like this do NOT help, and you know that.

If you need to, write that out, post it on here. Then hit the "delete" button. You just gave him PERMISSION for his horrible, hurtful behavior, and you're also continuing to express to him that -- no matter WHAT he does -- you'll still be back here waiting for him.

Do you want him to pity you, or be attracted to you again?

Puppy

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I guess I was just acknowledging my part in the breakdown of our marriage. I was not attentive enough and I do know that now.


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Didn't you already do that a couple of times?

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