The single biggest problem all across these boards is people being too caught up in what THEY feel and what THEY want. The small percentage of people here that have gotten their own selfish wants and desires (and anger) under their feet are the ones most likely to see their marriages restored.
Let me ask you this: What price are you willing to pay for getting that stuff off your chest (you could have vented that sh*t here!)?
Amy,
I know your quotes my not perfectly apply this this thread, but I thought that they profound for many of us LBHs. You can't vent and validate at the same time. You can't listen and talk at the same time. You can't be right (again) and expect her to heal.
I hope that I am finally evolving to one of those who have put their feelings and anger under feet in hopes of their W's healing. We aren't talking about an R, but when we do talk, I am sensing her more and less of me. It's not that I don't feel me, but I've got to let her heal without worrying about me - at least in conversation.
I'd rather be in my marriage than right all the time.
Sorry to hi-jack, but I what you (and VC 54) are saying needs to be heard by us LBS.
