Another one bites the dust (2)

[No Longer BH]

Today I feel more at peace. I dont know why I do, but am glad that it is there. I had my S IC appointment on Monday. STBXH and I drove up together with him. STBXH at the helm and I in the back seat. I read a wonderful story to my S the 2 hours up and the 2 hours back. While in the waiting room I brought my own book to keep myself busy. STBXH kept interupting my alone time with his drivel conversations. I was polite and kind an would answer anything and everything he brought up, but did not create conversations of my own. At one point on the drive back I felt sad because STBXH was trying to act like he did when we were together....chatty and happy go lucky with me, but I know it means nothing. He even brought up to the IC about how he just fell out of love with me.....as lwb would say "blecky".

It was a short moment of saddness and then it passed. I am healing and I am moving on. It is what needs to happen.

I read the book "Surviving the Affair" by Harley. It actually made me smile. He described the conditions of my STBXH affair to a tee....was depressed when he met up with her, picked someone leseer than he had at home - not educated (I have 2 degrees) and not as attractive as me, she is a partier when he was always a stay at home kind of guy. I smiled because it made me realize that my biggest fear is that she will be the step mom to my son. The reality is that is a very slim possibility. I know it could happen, I just dont think it will. In the skeem of things, his affair is still pretty new, they have only been out 5 months now. I was actually kind of glad to hear that they were living together because now they get to see eachothers warts. Again, though, these are HIS choices and it no longer needs to concern me. I am not looking to R with him anymore. There has been too much damage done and I am ready to start to move on.

It was a beautiful day today. I met acouple of other mom's at my S new school and enjoyed their company. There really are so many kind people in the world. I was hit on by a couple of guys at the local Borders. That made me smile as well. Apparently if you hang out in the Divorce section, guys think you are fair game. Still, enjoyed the attention. All is getting better in the world, albeit slowly.