A, If your h is in mlc, I do not recommend the Love Must Be Tough by Dobson. Many of us discussed this book a very long time ago and the techniques will not "snap" him out of the funk.
What I've suggested all along is to leave him alone. If he contacts you, treat him as you would a friend. Live your life as if he's not coming back and prop the door ajar. If you attempt some of the techniques/suggestions from that book, it may very push him even further away. The book is written for those who are normal and having affairs. Your h is not exactly normal as he is exhibiting confusion, etc.
A, I know you want to do something to shake up the situation, but you can't. The more you push, the harder he's going to pull away. Provide a safe place for him to land. Patience, faith, hope compassion and empathy are your keys for a mlcer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
