*H said he wanted the kids all 3 nights this week that I am busy, said "I want to have them while I can". I said something about how we need to get comfortable with it that way, and he said, "No, I meant since I know I travel next week I want to spend time with the kids when I am not traveling". Again, hard to explain, but any time I made an observation (no emotion!) about how things will be 'going forward', he tried to duck/dodge/backpedal...
he knows what you really mean here.
OK, so he knows what I mean. Then, why try to play it off like he doesn't, or like HE doesn't mean it like THAT? Grrr...if you want a divorce, then you say, "I want a divorce, lets go from here". NOT FU I hate you, we are done
and then the next day
I am sorry, I don't hate you, I love you and will always love you, I just hate the situation we are in...
then
I want you to co-sign on another house with me
then
Hey let's go to the pumpkin patch and have some good old fashioned family fun!
Mike would prob. say it is batchitt crazy....Deauxlie said it would hurt her to watch her H go to bed downstairs every night after playing "happy family" all evening.
Well, it DOES hurt my heart. No matter the GAL I do, knowing that at the end of the day, he is choosing not to be beside me, he is choosing to be without me. Even if he wants to flirt. Even if he wants to chat. Even if he wants to make memories with the kids. He doesn't actually want ME, is what it says to me when he goes downstairs at night...........
H leaves next week for several days in Los Angeles. The 2 other times he has gone there in the past 7 months, he has taken OW. I want this all squared away before he leaves, I don't want to think about it....
Kalni maybe now I am Dan, "I want to get this over with just so I can make SOME kind of decision"..............
I know BBJ..I lived it. Put Kim in Dan's place and me in yours with the exception that Kim let me work my ass off around the house..the only difference is Kim never wavered of her want for the divorce. She played "nice" to keep things civil..she brought food in, she chatted..she hugged, occasional kisses..went to family gatherings. Dan's not stupid. Dan knows exactly what you mean when you say the things you say..He plays them off as something else..Believe me I knew what Kim was saying but held out hope that my changes were having some affect on her and her feelings.
Yes, it is batchitt crazy..they don;t have a clue what they want and are like frinkin tops spinning on a table, flags flapping in the breeze..they blow one way one minute and the next it's the opposite.
and I know it hurts..BBJ..I know how bad it hurts..but it will be better. I can promise you that..Dan can't make it better but you can make it better for yourself.
