We're in a similar sitch. My W spends her time away from our boys with her bf for the same reasons - external validation and happiness.
Frustrates me that if w would spend half the effort on our marriage as her om we would have a fighting chance with our marriage.
Yeah you have to leave the hope behind to complete the grieving - I've been holding myself in the process for 8 months with no good.
I'm in NZ but originally from Chesterield (derbyshire) Used to climb in the peaks heaps. Sometimes wished i should never have left.
I've tried to be my wifes friend - we go out for family trips and meals etc. It doesen't work. We'll be having a great time and then S5 will mention om and reality hits.
If you spend time with W you never get over them - it would be nice to be friends at some stage but i think that could be years down the track.
