It is always good for the PMA to do so...she was truly surprised at the amount of progress that has been made so far. She said that there are very good signs. She liked the fact that we didn't bicker at all when away together this weekend. She said that I should not bring up the things he said while drinking, like the sort of future talk, but that it was still good that we could be like that together.
My formula is-not to pressure, and to remain strong. Basically she thinks that the biggest issue my H has is not liking himself around me, not liking the way that he treats me. Obviously when I broke down and cried in bed, this was not a good thing. However in the email the next day where I told him not to contact me about our R via IM/email, this showed that I was setting boundaries. She suggested that when I am here, I take the initiative to leave on my own, and just make sure to leave while things are going well, so that he will miss me. She said that I might even want to not be here on Friday night when he comes home, that I leave a really nice note and dinner and just say that I understand how taxing business trips can be, and wanted to give him some down time, but that I am looking forward to our plans this weekend. I'm really torn on this one as my plan had been to go to drinks, dress up, and come home looking really cute in a sexy leopard outfit! Any thoughts on this one? I am thinking that I might base my decision to be here or not on the interactions we have over the next 2 days...It definitely would be a 180 for me just not to be here. She thinks that if I start doing this when things are going well, he will start asking me just to stay. She wants to make sure that I come across as having my dignity. I agree that this is what I need to do, so will think hard about whether I would have more dignity on Friday by doing GAL activities or just not being at home...
In terms of bringing up R talk, she says I should not. When he does this, I should try to diffuse what he says into something like, "so I hear from you that I am pressuring you", or something along these lines.
She says I should still set my expectations as stage 1 expectations, because H has so much negativity within him. We are being friendly, but this doesn't mean the negativity has all lifted. In terms of how I interact with him now, I should see him as a guy who I really like, and who I want to get to do more of the work in pursuing me. She thinks he needs to take on some of the work. I couldn't agree more, and really love that idea!
Any thoughts on this would be great, on whether I come home late on Friday as a sexy leopard or don't come home and leave a note...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
