Originally Posted By: BobbiJo
So basically, part of me says, we are getting along well, we are sharing the responsibilities like we haven't done EVER since the kids were born. The other part says, he is just biding his time until he is ready to leave and by then I will have "expectations" again and be more upset, he should leave NOW...

Last night H cleaned up the whole kitchen from the pumpkin carving while I stood there talking to him. He even cleaned the sink itself. I had put on a roast and vegetables in the crock pot so it would be cooked for me to take to lunch the rest of the week. H wasn't planning to eat it, but he got it all out of the pot, wrapped it up, put it away....normally he doesn't even put his own plate in the dishwasher!

Also he hates pumkin seeds, no one eats them except me. And yet when I got home at 9 pm, he was in the kitchen, sifting the pumkin seeds out of the bowl of pumkin "guts". He spent almost 15 minutes washing them, cleaning them off, rinsing them again, etc. I asked why he was doing that, he said "Because I knew you would want them."

Maybe I am understanding what it says in the DB/DR books, about how when WE start 'doing something different', our spouses often react with anger/confusion. That is how I feel today.

H,

WTF are you cleaning up around the house NOW?
Why are you wanting to take care of our children NOW?
Why are you doing nice little things for me NOW?

Is it b/c you want to be nice, or b/c you want me to go easy on you with my Lawyer??????/


he's playing nice..if I did not know better then I would think he is DB'ing you. I also see some role reversal. He was a WAH and now that you have let him know you can't continue on this path he may now feel a little like a LBS and that you may be walking away..

can you go on with him in the house?? Can you continue on like this?? Dan will hang in for as long as he can I think, until it's unbearable I think..of course it does not have to be unbearable..patience and understanding go a long way.