Trying2Live-Post #3

[faithrunner]

All, The LRT letter that JJ wrote is in the "Staying Solution Focused" forum.. Click on the LRT folder and it is the thread started by Jamesjohn, right near the top of the list. And, I think that's exactly what we should be doing on this thread, venting and supporting so that we stay on track. Let it out about H and OW with us, hopefully it will lighten our load a bit. I do think it's interesting that your H tells you all this stuff. It's like they want to confide but don't want the rest of the relationship. I think it's a small hole in their fog. He knows deep down what he has with you.

Hope, I think you might have made a small breakthrough with your H. He got choked up with your reference to the porch light. You hit a nerve there. So I don't think he and OW laughed at you after the phone call. I bet he didn't tell her a thing because you reached his heart, albeit for a short time. I think you need to be proud of yourself for this interaction. You displayed enormous self control and strength. That's nothing to laugh at.

We need to create a little journal of all the positives we give eachother. T2L's loads and loads of positive tips and All's list above just to reread and remind ourselves. I know that I have been tired and feeling weary this week and it helps a lot to go back and refresh my memory.

So here's what I need help with. Why does my H always ask me "if we're ok", meaning in friend-land. He just called me and said "Hey, I'm sorry if this is annoying. I just want to make sure-we're cool? Everything is ok?" I laugh and say yeah it's great and then quickly change the subject to the kids. He has asked me every day since last Friday. WTF? Also, today he's going to take a 1/2 day and coming to meet me at the house around 2, he says so we can get the kids early and play with them. Why all the effort? I get a little nervous b/c I hear an alarm bell go off in my mind telling me it's time to pull back a little.

Any suggestions for how to perfect the act as if he's losing me technique? He always initiates phone calls and emails, so I'm set there. I'm looking for tips when we interact in person (which is all the time!). Should I sit and chat or bop around the house more? Stuff like that.
Thanks in advance!