OK right now I am fighting and incredible urge to call H and chew his a$$! I haven't done it, though.
Last night:
*H took care of the kids (I know, it is HIS job too) while I had parent-teacher conferences.
*He actually went out and bought a car seat for D, he has one for S but always just borrows mine for D. He called me from the store to tell me he was buying one and ask her weight. I told him and then said it was good he was buying a seat for D as he was going to need one. (Meaning: since you will have our kids half the time you need your own stuff) Of course H backpedaled around that one, and said something about how it will be easier on nights I have stuff going on for him to get the kids now (You had to be there I think but he said it more in a "us together" way....)
*H said he wanted the kids all 3 nights this week that I am busy, said "I want to have them while I can". I said something about how we need to get comfortable with it that way, and he said, "No, I meant since I know I travel next week I want to spend time with the kids when I am not traveling". Again, hard to explain, but any time I made an observation (no emotion!) about how things will be 'going forward', he tried to duck/dodge/backpedal...
*Last night was a little frustrating for us both as D2 has prob. got an ear infection. H said she was fussy before bed, I got home from conferences at 9 and she was in bed. She woke up crying at 1:00 about her ear, I had been in bed around an hour.... She got in my bed and was crying for her Daddy who was downstairs. I called down to him, he started coming up the stairs, I said she was asking for you, he said, "What will you do if I am not here?" I got instant pi$$ed and said, "Never mind, I will handle it, you are right I will need to get used to you not being here." He said, "I MEANT when I am traveling I won't be here..."
I took D back to bed and H went back downstairs to the couch where he has been sleeping since he got back Sunday....
On Monday night, before bed, he looked at me and said, "I know we need to talk about this (our M) but not tonight. I am so tired...." It was 11 and I was tired too so I went to bed.
My thoughts are
*WTF is going on? He is sleeping downstairs by choice, he is the one who said last week he wanted a D and he has said nothing about NOT wanting a D....
*He DID mention the night I went to the lawyer (last Wed.) that if he had to get the house on his own he may have to live in our current house a while longer...is that what he is doing?
*Last night after I got home I sat on the couch to relax before bed (was at school from 8 am to 9 pm b/c of conferences). H sat on the other couch, talked to me, chit chatted, etc. like things were fine. No problem being my "friend", just no touching or ILY (I haven't done EITHER myself since the night he said 'I hate you', even though he says he didn't mean that I haven't touched him since)
I am just getting so frustrated. I KNOW from prior experience that if I force the issue and start any kind of R talk, he will jump into his "Yes, we are getting a D, this is just how it is, but I want to be friend for the kids" or some such crap.
However, this "being friends, living in the same house" thing is driving me crazy. It is like having your house full of yummy food on a diet. What is the point of having it there all the time if you can't touch it? Not the best example but I hope you get what I mean. Hanging out joking with H will only lead to me having expectations/hopes, I know myself well enough to admit that. And I don't want to have expectations/hopes b/c I know I will be disappointed that much more when he suddenly decides it is time, and moves out.............
She got in my bed and was crying for her Daddy who was downstairs. I called down to him, he started coming up the stairs, I said she was asking for you, he said, "What will you do if I am not here?" I got instant pi$$ed and said, "Never mind, I will handle it, you are right I will need to get used to you not being here." He said, "I MEANT when I am traveling I won't be here..." 
