Anyone have an MLC'er Living At Home?

[ThinkingItThru]

Last night I was feeling low and I wasn't feeling very physically well either which I think is part of what led to my sadness. But when I got home from work my D had made dinner (bless her). H was playing Playstation in the basement when I got home and returned to it after dinner. When he came up to our bed without a word of acknowledgment to me. I've been pretty OK lately, but because I didn't feel well this set me off.

He rolled over to go to sleep and I just started crying. I felt so alone. I know that he heard me and this just made it worse because I think my tears pushed him farther away when I would have preferred that he have just a bit of compassion. Perhaps I should have taken my breakdown to another room.

Realistically I know that compassion isn't in him right now and I just need to get through this. 90% of the time I'm able to be upbeat, but that other 10% seems to always happen when I'm tired at bedtime and this is what he sees unfortunately.

I'm also trying to figure out how you can be so uncaring to someone you've been with for 19 years. I can understand not having intimate, loving feelings for someone all the time. I've been in and out of that in the marriage through the years, but I always believed that I cared about how my actions made him feel.

Thank you for all your kind words.