Ali said awhile back, that in DBing we are not honest. A lot of people disagreed with that. But to me, what that means, at least partly, is that while we are "DBing" we don't talk to our spouse's about what is on our minds, most of the time. We don't tell them how they have hurt us, what we want/need from them, etc.
At some point, though, these things must be talked about, if we are going to rebuild with them. And you are starting to have those talks. That is a good step in itself.
When you say, "just do it", I am not sure what that means to you. But to me it means what they say about, "love is a decision, forgiveness is a choice", etc. Only for so long can you "think" about what choice to make, at some point you make the choice and go forward with it. Living one-half in, one-half out will not work long term.....and you know that, which is good.
Yes, I meant it precludes open and honest communication, at least for all of us here whose partners had left and we werent with them and there were OPs on the scene. I think DBing does take two (someone to DB!) and that eventually, yes, you need to break the tyranny of NO R TALKS! and have some.
Sounds amazing Kalni, everything you once dreamed of. Imagine what a better R you could have now, than you did before. Interesting that he asked you to change a few things too, shows he is really committed and not afraid to be honest.
I know you say you still arent sure, but I am thrilled for you, Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Go slow and let it happen for you. It will turn out however it is supposed to. Remain open and calm and just let things unfold.
I don't think you need to be in a hurry for anything, but that is your call. Don't tell him you are ready to try until you are. You will know when.
Until then, keep telling him his actions and consistency over time will let you know whether or not you are willing to try.
You may make your decision in a week, a month or in a year. You don't know and won't know until you are there. He must be willing to understand and show lasting change w/ his actions.
Well... you better make it within 2 weeks, else it might be too late! Apparently.
Its all supposed to be happening by mid November... remember!?
I'm giving up being an astrologer, I see good things for everyone else, but cant seem to manifest that in my own sitch. I really am very happy for you to be given this chance though, your ship came in.
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
