Well here I am -- screwed it up again. I do well for days and then boom -- off I go.
I have been detaching as you know. Today he sent an e-mail about D's car bill. I answered saying it was $250 less than we thought. So then H sends another e-mail asking how to get money from his savings plan. He has been blowing money and I start getting aggravated because he will now drain this acct and then ask for a D just because he will need another financial supposed windfall.
I leave work and my tire is almost flat (was it OW??), but I have flat fix container in my car and fill it up and then have to go and buy tires at Walmart that I have been putting off. So I have to kill a couple of hours. My D15 is sick home alone, I am spending money that I don't have and I am thinking about H and OW carrying on at work -- almost in tears. So what happens my phone rings and it is H. I pick up - bad move. So H asks what is wrong by the tone of my voice. I said nothing -- then i start to cry...I say i am so overwhelmed and sad with our situation. D15 is mad, she is home sick, tires, you and OW. I said I have been working on myself and going out and doing things for myself but I miss you but as long as you are going out with OW we have no chance. So H says that is not the reason, our M was bad, I was not happy and I left for me. I said you left 40% for me and 60% for OW. H says no. Why did I agrue with that when I know he is so up in the fog, why why.
I said that I feel like I am failing my D15 by not standing up for myself ethically and turning both H and OW in at work. I want my D15 to know there is accountability. So H says you want to turn us in for spite because it is all about you. I say yes, that's right for spite and for me so then me and D will be in financial ruin. H says nothing when I put it that way. I said I am sick of coming into work and having to deal with this everyday. I want to get rid of OW so bad that you might fall with her. Then we talk about R...I said I know we can still work on this M. We have 21 years invested and you have 4 months with OW and she is calling all the shots. H said no, it is not like I think. So I said that is why I have 7 pages in one month of calls to OW at all times of the day (still trying to proof it for what). I said the door is still open for now, and that it is the right thing to do to work on our M for me and him and for our 2 girls. I know we could make this M thrive. H listened but of course I know he does not believe it. H said he feels bad for me (did I want to punch him) I do have to say I did not beg or do guilt. The only thing I said that reached him is that I said me and D have started to leave the porch light on for you. We feel you are lost and you can look for the light to find your way home. He started to choke up. We talked almost an hour. The only other impact I made was I mentioned that I had 2 parties at the house -- H said was it work people? I said no and he said who was it -- and I said friends you do not know - recent friends - and he starts asking what they thought about the house and the yard (he always took pride in our new house), so he was interested in that.
Well now I know he hung up the phone with me and told OW that I want him back bad. Yes they are probably laughing at me. I know everytime I talk OW -- it makes them hide more and talk R - it confirms to H that moving out was the right thing to do.
Now tomorrow I have to go to meeting with him. Need to pick an outfit out. Time to pick myself up and move on. This is hard. Will respond to other posts later. Glad you are all doing better than me.
T2L, also I did post the conflict of interest in OW's office and added her initial's on top. Close as I can get without going into HR.
take care all and God bless
Last edited by hope3343; 10/29/0803:46 AM.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
