Can't they chill and let me be free?

[Sugar and Spice]

More confusion, more mixed signals. I let H know that I should have some paperwork for him to sign (fingers crossed) by the end of the week to finalize our settlement agreement. His comment was: "Well this is what you say we need to do, so thats what we will do." I told him that if he had changed his mind that he needed to let me know, but that we had agreed that this would probably be the "best thing" for us and then he says, "It just feels like we are one step closer to a D." WTF? The only reason any paperwork has been filed or any precautions have been taken are because I have done it. I think he would be content to just pretend like nothing will happen and then when it does try and do damage control...after the fact. This needs to be done for MY KIDS, you know those ones that are already here and that we all know are actually yours.

We started talking about DS and some of the problems he has been having lately and H's comment when I said that DS was just having a rough time with everything was, "Well I don't think having your parents split up is the kind of thing that will ruin a kids life." My reply was, "Thats true, however the way you have chosen to do this has done all kinds of damage to both of them." "By dragging it out and not making decisions, you have hurt everyone way more than was necessary." He then said, "I'm sorry if I've f*cked our kids up." and the only thing I could reply was, "It really doesn't change it though." So sad. Our MC told us on our first visit that the kids would end up picking up the tab on this thing and its so true...a self fulfilling prophecy.

I've decided in my own mind that I will probably give it until about the first of the year and then call it a day. I can't wait aroung forever for him to decide to not decide. I don't know how some people around here do it for years at a time. One year separated will have been enough for me and he left on Dec. 28th of this year so New Years will bring a new beginning one way or another.