He still holds so much anger. C suggested dates, he stated he was not ready for that. He also said there was only a tiny chance this was going to work. He talked about how he gets excited to date other girls, but this felt like to much work...having to date me. I dunno...felt a little lost. He did say maybe it was because he had built a wall so high and thick, that may have a lot to do with it.
He at the end stated he wanted to talk about the separation and why I left. We ran out of time, the C said that would be what the focus of the next session would be about. He said that sounded good. So we scheduled another session...didn't even talk about the papers....except he did mention he felt like he was screwed either way (if he did or didn't sign them).
I think it is really positive that he showed up and scheduled another appt. Afterwards I asked if he could pull off at the gas station by my house while I ran home and got something for him, he said sure. I got him a card and a carton of smokes for our anniversary which was last week. We talked for a few more minutes. He was really appreciative. I brought one of our dogs along...he was happy to see her (or appeared to be) but was kind of upset because she really didn't remember him. Her tail was wagging...but we were at a busy gas station and she was much more interested in people watching!!
The C and H both keep asking how he can believe in the changes I have made....I keep saying until he sees them for himself, and gives me a chance to show him, it's hard for me to tell. I can tell him until I can no longer talk that I am not the same person I was when I left but that does no good...he needs to see it. Any suggestions on how I can talk about this without doing any harm; I need to talk about changes within myself...decreased selfishness, decreased stubbornness, and how I want us to be a team....we not me. All of that without sounding like I am running the session. In words that show him change???? not sure how to do that. any input would be GREAT!
we talked about the dogs more...he doesn't believe me that I would be ok with keeping them outside...which I would. I can not let my dogs be the reason my M comes to an end. That would be something I would live to regret.
He kept bringing up how starting a new R with another woman would be easier...easier maybe....but worth it???? that is the question!
(((((2 u all))))))) christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
