Probably not a good idea to share how you're feeling about her since it's probably opposed to the way she feels about you now. Chances are she'll feel pursued, guilt-ridden, and pressured, which will send her scurrying farther away.
She needs to develop and ripen on her own I guess. Unfortunately, that makes time (and a lot of it!) your only ally and patience and GAL'ing your only choice of weapons in this battle to save your M.
- Me = 32 y/o - WAW = 32 y/o - M = 2.5 yrs, T = 12.5 yrs - No kids - Bomb, WAW moved out, D filed = 8/15/08
Well, if you get a chance I think apologizing is a good idea - but try not to appear weak. Any maybe tell her that you understand and she has a right to be angry. (She has a right to feel how she does, even if you don't agree).
If she did what you did - would you be angry?
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Yes...totally agree w/ MsMelancoly. Apologize, validate and...that's it...no need to defend yourself or offer explanations. Try your best not to take the bait if she starts getting aggro on you. Lots of eye contact, nodding in agreement, "I'm so sorry you feel that way...", "I understand now...", etc.
Again, don't fight back or argue...let her release...develop a duck's back and let it all slide off...consider it your act of contrition...
- Me = 32 y/o - WAW = 32 y/o - M = 2.5 yrs, T = 12.5 yrs - No kids - Bomb, WAW moved out, D filed = 8/15/08
Yes, I disagreed w/my H & the way he dealt with things (running away as well). But I have learned to understand that we all deal with things differently. I have let go of that blame w/my H & actually feel sad for him.
Sometimes, keeping DB in mind & going with your gut feeling is the best way to go. If her mood isn't inviting to say what you want or should then don't & wait. Either way I would keep it light, don't act wound or weak. After my 1st DBcoaching session was I was supposed to reduce his reluctance, she also pointed out (in my case) there was a struggle for control, my H also wanted attention & revenge.
I agree with COG, no pressure, no guilt, no blame.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Yes, that' what I would do. Also I would try not to be too depressed (ofcourse not happy either). Remember this life is a big game of learning. For me .... learning from my mistakes .... sometimes that takes me a couple of times....
Uncharted waters for your W as well - I'm guessing.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
