trying to be patient and strong 7

[karen43]

Puppy, I agree and I think everyone else does. I just put in the beginning part and took out all the smileys. Kind of professional but polite which is what I was originally aiming for.

Kat, don't ever worry about that! Plus as you know I've hijacked yours a couple dozen times! I'm coming right over! Karen

[hoosiermama]

{{{kat}}}

Karen--I agree with the general consensus, fwiw.

[karen43]

Ok, I emailed just the first part of that email, the 1st paragraph. H emails me this am: the kids may have to stay with me during the winter. that would enable you to work full time and make all the repairs to the house you want.

Tell me if you think its a safety issue so i can make arrangements to have the kids all week(or more if you want) for the winter.

OK, I think he's evil or crazy at this point. I talked to the only school around here that takes special needs/dyslexic kids they said they have had some with autism as well but would test them to see if they could even take them. $1300 for testing and then 13,000 - 16,000 a year and we have the 2 children, so I'm figuring about $30,000. You can't even get a $30,000 job here with a college degree most of the jobs full-time are around $25,000 so how I would be able to have extra $$$ to pay for repairs beats me.

I took this to my L right away. She said not to respond to it. She's going to email his L and advise him if H tries to get the kids we'll set an emergency hearing before the Dec. 3rd date.

I've got a job interview with the Art Center tomorrow at 10am. I feel kind of weird going for a job with all the crud going on in my life, but guess I can't help that.

The good news is I got my haircut today--she cut off 5 or 6 inches it was really long and is now a little bit above my shoulders, kind of looks like a bob. I'm still in shock, but I do think it'll be good for job interviews.

Karen

[kat727]

((((((Karen))))). Oh sweetie, it must be halloween bringing this out in them. lol Ok, my favorite holiday so maybe I shouldn't say that. Listen to your L. What is he planning on having the kids do all day anyway since they don't deal with the school atmosphere?

I bet your hair is cute and it will give you the boost you need for your interview. Knock 'em dead!!

We are both going to be ok.(edit) We are both going to be fantastic!!

kat

[Lyn]

Hi Karen, I have heard this same kind of thing from all my friends going through this (if you can believe it I know at least 6 in my tiny neighborhood!) Our H's L's and perhaps other brilliant cheating H's tell them if they can get us to move out, get most of the custody, then there is very low or no child support. I know I always felt like at least my H was a good father but based on some of his ridiculous ideas on what to do with our kids, getting me to move out, letting other unqualified people live with him to help, etc. I really wonder. It truly does not seem as the best interest for our kids.

Also one thing my L told me is that after a certain period of time your alimony is taxable. So that might also need to be a factor in your $ calculation.

Good luck!

[LL44]

I just got a ton off my hair too. And its still by my shoulder blades!

Your husband is crazy. What is he thinking with the kids? Good job handing it to the attorney!

[Lyn]

Oh one other thing I would add is "INTIMIDATION" that is my new buzz word. The stuff your H put in his email is exactly the type of way my H tries to bully me. Be strong and remember you don't have to let him intimidate you. You control how you feel.

[LL44]

Lyn is right...its those veiled, passive threats...

[karen43]

Lyn, yeah he definitely tries to intimidate, manipulate, all those kind of words! Was good to ignore it today and probably smart. He didn't email about that again which he does sometimes if i ignore an email he sends the same one again! I think I will try to ignore his emails unless they're relating to the kids at this point.

I have lost most of my respect for H I think at this point, that he could be so focused on money instead of the kids and just seems to purposely try to make me mad. I could be wrong, but it almost seems like you couldn't do all this kind of stuff, unless you were really trying to make someone mad or crazy or something.

I felt so much better after letting the L handle it. I was scared until I talked to the L about it, but feel good after that.

Luckily today was Terrific Tuesday and all the kids put me in a great mood. I got a couple compliments on my haircut which is good b/c I tend to think when you have a bad one people just don't say anything! They all agree it will be great for the interview too. We took the kids to the fire station and did the tour and the kids got to spray the firehose and knock down cones. Funny when one kid was a little fast and almost hit the fireman putting the cones back in place! Never saw such a big guy run so fast!!!

I saw H today when he got here for just a few minutes. He was somewhat friendly, well as friendly as he ever is, just a few comments about how broke he is. Then I went upstairs and worked out and did bible study. Yeah, H is gone now until Friday, and then he usually just picks up the kids and takes them for the night. It's a bummer he "called" friday nights and that's when Halloween is this year. Going to think on that one...

As usual, thanks everyone for all your support! That is so helping me get through all this! I'm scared to think what would have happened if I hadn't stumbled into this website, but I do believe there are no coincidences. Karen

Karen

[Sugar and Spice]

(((Karen)))) I'm sure your hair is way cute and will be perfect for a job interview. I too am amazed at how people that used to be good parents (WAW/WAH) can turn into such a$$holes. It just boggles the mind at what people can allow themselves to become.
Take care of you and I would simply ask H what, if any his plans are for Halloween and see if he would be open to you having some time with the kids.

(((hugs))))