Hi peace-
I wish someone had the answers for you that would make your pain go away forever. You have to decide what you want.

I don't know why but from the choices you listed, I get the feeling that there is still a part of you holding on. Are you ready to completely let go? Maybe you need to figure out how to detach more.

I try to post more later. Call me if you need to talk.

(((HUGS)))