Ali said awhile back, that in DBing we are not honest. A lot of people disagreed with that. But to me, what that means, at least partly, is that while we are "DBing" we don't talk to our spouse's about what is on our minds, most of the time. We don't tell them how they have hurt us, what we want/need from them, etc.
At some point, though, these things must be talked about, if we are going to rebuild with them. And you are starting to have those talks. That is a good step in itself.
When you say, "just do it", I am not sure what that means to you. But to me it means what they say about, "love is a decision, forgiveness is a choice", etc. Only for so long can you "think" about what choice to make, at some point you make the choice and go forward with it. Living one-half in, one-half out will not work long term.....and you know that, which is good.
