We are here for ya bro....you know in your heart you are making the rite decision..that's why it hurts!! My W is like an Ice Cube....she is rite and everyone else can f off!! Those pretty much sum up her words and attitude...sound familiar?
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
My W has been friendly; just not helpful with anything. Yesterday was the first day that she's been pissy with me about something I did since dropping the bomb. But I think it's typical spew because she got a glimpse that I'm not lying down doing nothing. She saw a side of me that she's not seen, it probably appeared sneaky and manipulative. Something she knows a lot about. In truth, we not's not manipulative; maybe sneaky but it has to be. I can only imagine that she's at home right now looking everywhere trying to find my "notebook." She's probably also trying to find the spare keys to the Jimmy, cause that's where she keeps her hidden stuff, in her car. I had to drive the truck in today. Nothing's in the Jimmy; but all the keys are with me.
Truth is, I have no attraction toward her right now; it's merely a desire for her to be happier and stay home so that the kids do not have to suffer. I care for her; but I'm not sure that I EVEN love her like I used to. I can see where it would be so easy to drop the ILYBINILWY speech. That's what I feel right now. But I still feel that love is a decision and if she was willing to make that decision; I probably could as well.
I feel the same way. All I associate with her is hurt. How do you love, or even LIKE someone who represents pain to you?
I guess I'm projecting the kids' happiness and stability in life onto her staying in the marriage. I don't know if that's realistic or even fair to any of us.
I just read your post to LIS and thought to myself; wow 3 year reconciliation and BAM, over. If that is what might happen to me and my W; I'd rather get it over with.
Ah..Tom..self doubt is a bitch. This stuff does suck. Self doubt has been my greatest enemy.
I still say focus on you and the kids. Decide what you want to do. Fence riding is hard. It's hard being in this, then out, in this, then out.
You can't worry about her and what she is doing. Maintain the focus on those kids.
Her knowing about the journal...big deal..I would think that you can round up enough potential witnesses to make her forget about the journal. Sounds like she is a real popular girl..I say continue to document the stuff..
{{{{{{Tom}}}}}}}}} Ugh..I'm so sorry that you are having a crappy day my friend...
It sounds like such a weird place to be for you and I hope you are okay. But you said 2 things that are right on the head: 1) Love is a decision and the more you focus on the good (or bad) the more you will think on the good (or the bad) 2) Doing the LD because it would be better for your wife and your kids (and you) for her to be in a better place emotionally..
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Thanks Tawnya. I'm still riding it out. Still considering the LD. I want to gauge her mood a little more over the next couple of days.
She's being very friendly right now. I came home and she had lists for the kids so that they could clean before my Mom comes over Fri. night. She was cleaning her bathroom and doing laundry. So I'm joining in on the cleaning party while she's cooking dinner. This is REALLY weird. I don't know if she's been jolted into reality or is it just part of a scheme.
