ALLW8, So you messed up. big deal, forgive yourself, pick your self up and keep going. Now what I found interesting is some things he said, though all of what he says is still in the fog and doesn't really matter much. "start getting confidence, being independent, individual, care about myself,". Remember how I said that confidence and independence, strength, and self care are attractive and remember how I said this is not so much about him right now as it is about you and that if you skip a step your going to miss something. To ya'll, don't wait to feel confident to GAL, please please please, go find something fun and creative and do it NOW! Your confidence will gorw as you step out and invest in yourself. ALLW8, its time to invest in YOU! Keep up the dance class, I could hear how you enjoyed it and the confidence it grew. Still get some friends, I'm not going to let you out of this one. Join a church or reach out to some women at work and get to know them personally, maybe tell them that your going thru a hard time and are trying to get out with friends, you don't have to say what but you must get some girlfriends. You are alienated right now and that's not healthy for you.
Sometimes we reject before we can be rejected, do you think that this could cause you to not reach out to other women? You can do this, who cares if they have kids. Get to know their kids, just because you are not with your H is no reason why you can't interact with family people.
Well my thoughts on telling him about the OW helping you is it may back fire on you in some way. There are many possibilities that that could happen -he may give up or file 1st if he thinks you are headed that way or you may get caught in the lie and that wouldn't be good either. Of course its just an opinion and you have to follow your heart. What I did alot of times is just not be around so he couldn't ask and if he did I would just say I had errands to do and walk off so he couldn't ask further.
Yes we want you to focus on you but don't make it complicated, start to get to know who you are as an individual, what do you enjoy and like, start living, laugh, go for walks, join more dance classes, or singing lessons, cooking class, painting or pottery. Do you know who you are anymore? I think for all of us as women we serve our family so much that we lost who we are, forgetting that it was who we were that attracted our spouses to us. Tip #1 for all you learn to laugh as much as possible with H or with out H. Sometimes if he tries to engage in negative interactions I smile and laugh and say oh your funny and walk away , I mean tell me how attractive and confident is that? I almost think they need a lil chase and mystery and fun from us.
Did you all get to read that part of the tread about the feminine nature? Its super important, if not I can re-post if you guys are interested.
With all you have in you this is your season to invest in you and I think it will go a long way possibly for your marriage and if not, for all of us, we are going to be that confident lil thang!
Marisol, can you miss a call here or there, be just a bit unavailable? Remember absences makes the heart grow fonder. Not poopy just busy living your life, he doesn't have to know that you aren't you just didnt' answer. P.S. After you get settled in from move promise you will GAL, its for you.
XOXO....Got a salsa class tonight so I may post late....
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
