W came and did the usual morning routine, made me coffee as usual.
Later this morning she called my cellphone to tell me she bought 2 pumpkins for the girls to carve because D13 said something about it. I told her that I had told D13 wed go get pumpkins from the patch on Wednesday. W got flustered, thinking that she had offended me and I said it was cool, D13 just likes to get her to do things for her.
Anyway, she came over to the house and while she was here she took more of her clothes, saying that her friend had made more room in her closet for her stuff and she was tired of wearing the same stuff all the time.
She said she wanted to get them while the girls weren't home so they wouldn't be upset.
She also pointed out a couple halloween decorations she had put up this morning and I said "I'll have to get out the decorations box and work with the girls to do more"
W: Well, they really didn't show any interest this morning when I put these up.
Me: Hmm, maybe they are just not into it any more.
W: No I think it's because they are depressed.
Me: They seem ok to me.
W: Well D17 says she doesn't like either of us (Not true in my opinion) and D13 doesn't want to do anything with me. I know it's a difficult situation for them to be going through. She's really B*tchy to me a lot lately.
Me: She's not too bad to me most of the time. I think it's just her age.
W: Well you're lucky then.
Me: Hey I got two prospects for my billing system so I might make enough to catch up the mortgage soon.
W: That would be good. You wouldn't have to do any work since it's already done. (kind of a neutral tone of voice)
W: My business is picking up slowly and I've been able to get other part time office jobs so hopefully I'll be in a better place by december.
Me: I'm sure you will, you're a hard working girl.
W: Yeah.
Me: Well thanks for getting the pumpkins, and also for clipping those coupons the other day. Where do you find them in the paper so I can do them myself?
W: Remember the section we used to read together every sunday? With the Best Buy and other stuff?
Me: Oh yeah, that section
W: Well there's a (she goes on to name the sections with coupons)
Me: Thanks for the info, I try to save money when I grocery shop and I'm getting better at it. I don't get yelled at as much by the girls for buying the wrong things.
W: (Starts to tear up and her voice is shaky) Yeah, that's what I miss the most.
She turns to leave, and says goodbye.
During this conversation I smiled, and was positive and upbeat. I'm doing my best to be consistent in that.
I almost asked her that if she knows the girls are depressed then why is she doing this. But she's doing this because she doesn't love me any more and she is searching for something else.
It still sucks that I still love her. I just need to continue on my own journey.
