I got rid of everything old girlfriends got me, when I got married. Rings, bracelets, photos, other gifts. Am I weird?
I don't think you are weird. I got rid of 99% of everything my Old GF and X wife got me. This was long forgotten. Wife was the one who found it in son’s room. I actually like the bracelet. Not because of who gave it to me. It's a nice silver bracelet. I will ask wife how she would feel if I wore it. I will tell her to be honest with me because it's not really a big deal who gave it to me. It's just a nice bracelet. She said it would bother her then in the G can it goes.... Sorry you all are having a hard time understanding what I am trying to say. It is no big deal if I wear it or not but if it does not bother wife why not wear it?\ Confused or not. Wife had not made any attempts on her own to work on our marriage. When I asked her not to talk to OM she refused.. that was a year ago. I have not even asked her if she still does talk to me but come on people. Most of you are acting like she is totally happy being married single.
It’s almost like fighting a war with a terrorist that has a bomb tyed around them. How to you deal with someone who for all intent and purpose does not care if they die or not. You can’t win. Like a Japanese kamikaze pilot. You can shoot all you want,
Don’t get me wrong I still want to try to fix the marriage but,,,,YES I know there are positives but just positives in reaction to what I have done none on her own… It amazes me if she would only on her own come up to me a just give me one kiss. I would be in heaven or weeks…………
Me
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Thing is, she does care if she gets divorced or not. Everytime you tell her it's make the marriage better of get divorced, she agrees to make it better. But she doesn't want to. She is very comfortable keeping you at the end of a ten foot pole. She just doesn't realize this could all end.
I was going to just turn off the computer and not look until morning because I thought I was going to get a rash of doo for what I wrote. Don't anybody get me wrong yes we have come a long way. Retro was the best thing we could have done. But like you said my engine is running out of gas, she just pours enough in to keep me going. Like I said before.... I amazes me how if she only realized instead of giving my teaspoons of fuel how easier it would be on both of us and how far I would get with just a cup. I am not asking for a full tank. But everyone knows you should never let your gas tank run on empty. All that does is suck the junk of the bottom of the tank and sooner or later your intake gets fouled up. (Carburetors on the real cars) and the thing will not start any more. I am still planning our "date" how would I like to see it go? I want to get there first. And when she arrives answer the door like to old friends that have not talked much in the last year. Get re acquainted. She has experience getting "re acquainted" with one a old friend already. Unfortunately I respect her (don't know why) too much to just use her like he did.
I am getting there Sara.... soon if things don't happen...everyone says slow down, give her space, don't push her... these are all great things to do for her. But isn’t it all about me? Isn't it all about what I want? what I need? DETACH. They say. Don't worry I am going to continue to play the game at least until the Date night. After that it's truth or dare.... Tell me the truth or dare me to leave. WDID I wrote ya a looooooooog letter. Sorry but what you said in your posts remind me so much of my wife.. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi you are my only hope...
I need a sign to let me know you're here All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere I need to know that things are gonna look up 'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup
When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head When you feel the world shake from the words that are said
And I'm calling all angels I'm calling all you angels
I won't give up if you dont give up
I need a sign to let me know you're here 'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear I want a reason for the way things have to be I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me
When children have to play inside so they don't disappear And private eyes solve marriage lies cause we don't talk for years And futbol teams are kissing Queens and losing sight of having dreams In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours
Calling all you angels
They call me Dr LOve
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Dr. LOve, Please don't give up until you are totally sure. I think Retro did help you, if only to help you communicate if a D becomes necessary. Unfortunately, my M has died. I've been 'on empty' too long. I've moved out, took the kids, and I'm filing for D. It's over, I'm sure. Peace. Goldey
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
Im with saffie on this... If she's upset with you wearing a bracelet from how long ago, how would she feel if you jumped in the sack with someone today????
Too bad for her. She needs to grow up a bit.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Im'e sorry guys but unless I missed some of Docs posts Two wrongs don't make a right. Sounds like you are trying to get even some how. Your W is going through some things that need patients and understanding and she has seemed to come a long way from a little over a year ago. Yes she did the unspeakable in a M but she does seem to be coming around and working on her stuff. Doc she also did not turn you down she is still contemplating and like it was said The connection that she may have with you may be what makes her want to have Sex with you.
Please try to be patient. I know it seems like that is all you have been doing but just try a little longer.
I personally think it's good that it bothers her about the braclet cause if you asked her a year ago she wouldn't have cared.
Keep the plans.
HUGS
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Ask yourself why you would do something that is unimportant to you that you believe might hurt someone else that you love?
Anyway, just a heads up -- visiting Classmates.com is a big red flag, unless you were just looking up your old guy friends. Among those in troubled marriages or divorced, Classmates.com and Reunion.com are pretty much cliches in terms of where people "not wanting to cheat" who are lonely and unhappy in their marriages or recently divorced go to seek some sort of connection and wind up hooking up. Kind of like the good-intentioned guy's match.com.
FWIW, I'd suggest it is best for your M if you keep your online communication of any sort in a very public forum like this, or give W access to your private email accounts. Public forums keep you accountable while still giving you private space, like group therapy lol. Other kinds of unfettered intimate (I'm not suggesting sexual intimacy BTW) online communication like private chat and emailing make for a pretty slippery slope...
Anyway, just a heads up -- visiting Classmates.com is a big red flag, unless you were just looking up your old guy friends. Among those in troubled marriages or divorced,
Ot This is not what I had in mind when I went on but after reading your post I realized that maybe deep down that was what I was looking for.
As for the bracellet....... I wore it Monday to work and then took it off when I got home. Like I said I like it but it was no big deal. BTW wife never said she was jeluse or Hurt by it.
Goldeylox,
I am so sorry for you. I will not "give up" per say. But soon I will not cover for wife anylonger. Wish I could give ya a real hug...
I got ta go
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
