What makes you think that during that year she wasn't doing just what she said? I think sometimes we tend to vilify the spouse who finally says "enough is enough," not that I'm suggesting you are doing that here. Perhaps she was trying to tell herself that things were fine, that any unhappiness she was experiencing WAS in fact due to weight, clothes, the house, etc...

I don't know, just adding to the pondering.

My guess is that in many of these situations where the spouse up and walks away one day, saying that they've tried to make it work, they actually believe they have. They've done it silently of course, which is a little rough on us, but I think in some cases they honestly do believe they have tried to fix things.

I don't think your wife is working on your marriage right now.

I think she is enjoying the marriage that she always wanted. More specifically, I think she is enjoying the relationship with the man she loves as she always dreamed it would be.

Maybe it will turn out that there's not a lot more work that needs to be done. Who knows?

I do believe that if a spouse has decided for it to be over, they will make it be over. That doesn't necessarily mean that they will push for an official divorce, but I believe they will move on. Perhaps with another person, perhaps just with a life on their own. Your wife has never done that.

The time will come, presumably sometime AFTER you've been released from this threat hanging over you, that the two of you can begin communication about how better to love and care for each other. I think you've come so far in this area, and I will just encourage you to remain consistent in the husband that you've become.

Blessings,

Bill

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."