Yes, I am in my head heavily today. Mostly, I keep going over and over, what is the right thing to do at this moment. I think that I must have patience and wait out a day or two to see how the environment at home looks like. But then I feel like if I don't strike now; I could have less of a case if she straightens up just for the kids.
I, still, would love for my M to work out. I want to keep applying the DB and I'm also still considering the Love Dare. Even if the M doesn't work out; if she's in a better place mentally and emotionally it would be a whole lot better for the kids. But I've pinned hopes on this woman several times and have been let down each of those times. So I can't place any expectation that this time would be any different. The only difference is the ramifications of delay could be far greater on me and the kids.
Oh, I can't stand this; why don't these WAS realize what it does to families to have such selfish desires? And why will they not listen to their spouses about how they feel about it? They wanted us to listen to their feelings for so long; now we are capable and we can't get the time of day.
All this confusion muddies my LBS mind to the point that I think I'm as confused as her.
