"but feel better able to handle a down swing if it comes along."
What will you do.. to slow the down swing?
Good question, and will there be a down swing?
I know one thing, even though I am better, I still have a hard time with the limbo...no not the dance.
To you and Bill, and I guess everyone else from what you have said...all these months, it has somehow been "obvious" that she is not going anywhere, at least not yet. You always told me "if she was going she would be gone".
For me, I think back about all the years she put up with me, waited patiently for things to change and finally made her decision to end the marriage....all the while we had what was on the outside a pretty normal marriage.
Don't get me wrong, I knew she was unhappy and I got the 2 previous bombs, but this last time she went one full year telling me everything was "OK"....pretty much lying to me. I know that doesn't sound right, but really, wasn't she?
Not.."I am trying", "We need to seek help"...not "You are screwing up again".
No, when I would ask her she would tell me everything was fine..it wasn't us it was something else...her job, her weight, the house...the weather....So in all my denseness, I believed her.
....and now, I have to tell myself, without being able to ask, to talk, to discuss..that what I am seeing now is her wanting to work on the marriage..her not wanting to leave or have me leave. That she sees the changes...she is waiting..I am regaining her trust.
Afraid to ask because of what I may hear....limbo.
I know I didn't answer your question...because I am really not sure what I will do to slow the down swings, other than keep doing what I have been.
Guess the question just made me think...if there is another down swing...if I get another reminder...what will that mean? Why is she still so afraid of committing to the marriage?
If she was able to hide her true feelings so well before, how do I trust that what I "see" now may be her true feelings.... Why should I trust her?
