I was unfaithful

[Sanderika]

Max,

I want more than anything for son to have a relationship with his dad.

I went around that barn a hundred times. I ended up giving up trying to be the bridge between them.

Early on in the separation, H wouldn't do anything with son because he had to see me. Then he became comfortable with me and less comfortable with son. He ended up visiting me and was not here for son. Their relationship has grown very cold.

Then OW wouldn't let H see son because H would have to see me.

Now I think the relationship is more like strangers not father and son. I can't fix it. I have adopted that attitude that H will have to fix it if he wants it. I know first hand that son has no interest in his dad because of his feelings of abandonment and neglect and I didn't create those, H managed those nasties all by himself and has no one to blame but himself. It has to be his job now to salvage a relationship with son.

I am not being selfish...I just gave up and threw in the towel. I tried and tried to keep the connection and it became apparent it was useless (hopefully this is a temporary state).
I finally admitted defeat and I can't go back and try right now, I can't handle that pain again. It tore me to shreds to watch their relationship fall apart, but I didn't cause it. I have to leave their relationship up to them now (or for now).

I think to keep a journal of the really good ideas of what works and doesn't from the veteran DB's here is an excellant idea for you. I have something similar and it is a good fallback when you are at a loss. Keeping in mind too that what works today may not tomorrow. It's all part of the journey.

Keep up that sexy, appealing Appearance and PMA for your H, remember he is always watching you....

Sanderika