How did you help the R get to the point where she was able to make a choice like hooking up with the OM?
Believe me brother, I know the pain of betrayal. And I am not trying to minimize what has happened to you. I am a suburban Dad and professional with an education that turned to a wicked narcotic after I found out about my XW and OM. It was that painful to me. So I respect that you may have been in agony.
For me, I can answer that Q by saying I neglected her, treated her like a trophy, took her for granted, and flaunted her in front of the OM to show how great I was for having such an appealing W. I let pride and complacency slip in and it ran me over. This does not excuse what she did but it sure made it easier for her to do.
Chaz,
I am so there with you in all of this......
What did I do wrong? A lot of things....
I did not make her feel important... Even though she was....
I did not take the time to check our M.... As how she feels about our M.....
I was too concerned about my work and career....
I neglected her.... One VERY IMPORTANT argument happened the day she moved out..... We were talking.... All of a sudden, she started yelling at me...... She said, "This WILL teach you NOT to neglect your wife." I said, "I had NO clue. Why DIDN'T you tell me?" That frankly was an opening I should have hit.... I was just really done at that point... I just wanted to move away from the pain... I should have really ignored the DB mantra.... and told her.... I love you BUT you are choosing to leave the M.... It is out of my hands....
There were lots of other things... I never cheated or physically abused her.......
I need to stop writing about this right now. It is hitting me like a ton of bricks........ I need to step back for a while.....
Right or wrong..... All I can think about is how much I loved her......
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
