In my case, W said ( for the second or third time) that its over about a month ago.

So when we had an arguement over finances she said again, oddly enough 'And don't even think about reconcilliation', to which I replied ' I'm not.'

I had already taken her earlier statement at face value and had decide to 'drop the rope', that is, no longer put any kind of expectation that we might work it out.

(Of course there is always that possibility, but I think it is important to move ahead as if it won't. My life has been on hold for over 6 mos. and I need to pick up the peices)

San, I really think that your H and my W are using this type of dramatic 'It's over' announcement as a way to manipulate or get some kind of power or revenge on us.

"I needed to hear from him if he was really done..so I can move on..."

You don't need for him to make up his mind. You DO need to decide to go on with your life. If you do, you will be in a better place to reconcile if he changes his mind later. He needs to think, really feel, what its like to lose you !!!!!
Don't press him to make dramatic statements like this bc I think that it makes it harder for him to reconsider if he changes his mind later.

Just acknowlege what he says, say a little prayer for strength and start GALing.

Last edited by native; 10/28/08 11:51 AM.
Me 47, W 32,D 6,
Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7
Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09