Oh, I did yell and curse up a storm while I was outside. anyone outside probably had their ears burning! I'm not proud of it but I have been holding it, him pushing for ow to be around my kids, bills, him being such a good guy. Seriously he thinks he will be meeting St Peter at the Pearly Gates. Well after my tirade I may not be there either. For a while it was like every Friday he picked a fight. Then I guess I got 2 weeks "off".
I am still going out tomorrow even if I have to get a second job with in the next week. Thanks for letting me vent.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Focus on YOU tonight and have a great time. This jerk you used to know is unimportant to your future. If he wants to see himself as a hero, let him. You know it is delusional. Talk to your L about what recourse you have to get him to own up to his responsibilities.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Oh my L told me before to let him ruin our credit now and that by the time he is done paying alimony I should have my credit back.! They all just wanted to get this over with.
Then ex says I wanted to sit down with you and make a reasonable solution...um, I think you maybe approached me once talking about it. Didn't have a solution just wanted status quo. I said that is why I asked for mediation. Idiot says you wanted mediation to save our marriage! What planet is this alien from because he sure doesn't get. Still threw out that accusatory card..."Well at least you are finally admitting this was all a ruse for you to get me to stay in a marriage I didn't want." What an arrogant prick.
He even wanted my boss to call him today to discuss our situation. For right now, it looks as if I will have to work with him but I told him, I won't be able to get you caught up with me, you'll have to deal with the courts on that.
Even with a sleeping pill, I still tossed and turned for quite a while. Well I have to boogie and try to sort out this mess.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I keep thinking, Did I hurt him sooo much that he has to continue to wreck so much havoc and pain in my life? When is it enough? I lost our "family"(though the kids and I are pretty happy as we are now), my best friend, my marriage, I was humiliated, ran though the wringer a couple of times and now...now he is set on this. Maybe I am not as nice a person as I thought or maybe I should change my name to Job.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Don't convince you deserve any of this. That his behavior is somehow a result of yours. His behavior is a result of HIS problems. They are not YOUR problems. You still have your family. He is going to realize eventually what he has lost. Until then, he will continue to justify himself. Don't believe it.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I am trying to make sense of what he is doing. I was fooling myself I guess because he sat right there in court and said he planned on filing for bankruptcy if he was forced to. Well I believe he is the only one that forced the issue because he foolishly pushed for a divorce.
If he won't work on this with me, it may be my only option. I am going to try to speak with someone that can give me some advice.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I keep thinking, Did I hurt him sooo much that he has to continue to wreck so much havoc and pain in my life? When is it enough? I lost our "family"(though the kids and I are pretty happy as we are now), my best friend, my marriage, I was humiliated, ran though the wringer a couple of times and now...now he is set on this. Maybe I am not as nice a person as I thought or maybe I should change my name to Job.
kat
Right. Do you think I deserve what my H is putting me through??? Shoot, I know I don't deserve the H I have now and neither do you!!! They are messed up, seriously messed up and need intensive long-term counseling I think. Can you try to get an accountant friend or something that will help you deal with your H maybe. He sounds maybe toxic and you just have to try to avoid dealing with or discussing or being around people like that (my C says and I agree). So I'm thinking about just barely talking to H anymore, just hi and bye and that's it. Anything else, talk to the lawyers or I'm just going to ignore it if possible.
I almost agree about the Job thing, but we do have wonderful healthy kids and this has brought us together even closer and sounds like your sitch too. We've made some great friends here. Once the toxic ex-Hs are out of our life, I think our lives will be so much better than they have been for a while. ((((Kat)))))
That's the thing, I thought I was pretty much passed him being a thorn in my side and then he pulls this! I called HR and they got me in touch with someone at the Employee Assistance Program. I told him what was going on and he said it sounds like you need to talk to a lawyer, would you like to. I said sure.
Well even though he is in a differnt state than me, he gave me some advice. He said if I needed to I could get a petition of contempt out for him and he could even be arrested and serve jail time for not fulfilling his civil agreement. (sorry but there is some karma there folks.) Something similiar may happen just for him being behind on the maintenance. I asked if I shouldn't try to work out some sort of compromise so that we can get all these things paid for the time being. He said that would look better for me in court, even if ex doesn't want to work with me because at least I am trying to fix it first before crying to a judge.
He also said that ex could be forced into getting all of that debt into his name alone so that he couldn't hurt me only himself. I don't think a judge is going to like a 40 year old "man"(I use the term loosely) standing in front of him/her saying I just don't have it. Not a pretty sight!
I feel a little bit better. I will let ex know that I spoke with a lawyer today.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
That all sounds good for you! Whew! Are you going to tell XH all the stuff the lawyer told you? Do you think the threat of jail might make him work harder, getting a 2nd job or economizing or roommate, or whatever it takes for your H to be able to pay his bills??? BTW, I need a hug today. Is it a full moon or something again??? Karen
Whew! Are you going to tell XH all the stuff the lawyer told you? Do you think the threat of jail might make him work harder, getting a 2nd job or economizing or roommate, or whatever it takes for your H to be able to pay his bills??? BTW, I need a hug today. Is it a full moon or something again??? 
Karen