Methinks maybe the recent niceness towards me by X is an attempt to maintain me as plan "B" or possibly a reaction born of her insecurities. I'm not entertaining the idea that she might want me back.
I think I need to go dimmer.
I think I might speed things along by going on a date.
I'll vote for insecurities. I think you DO need to go dimmer - for her sake. In order to be in any kind of healthy relationship with ANYONE, she has to evolve beyond the person she currently is.
Her cycles and patterns don't work in the 'real world'.
Unfortunately, You are the only person in her life who truly understands this. So, it puts you in the uncomfortable position of having your last act of love being letting her crash and be hurt.
And no you're not twisted in wanting to punch him in the nose. You're bound by your love and commitment to her forever. You CHOSE her so you could be her knight. You'll always feel that way. With or without her.
I know I do.
I also expect that I will be divorced and with someone more like me.
But I'll probably never stop wanting to protect her.
I just shouldn't. Or she won't learn nuthin.
My counselor said to think of it as 'loving her from a distance'.
