I have decided to do what Dr. Willard Harley calls a Plan B - I am going pitch dark with my W and will change my phone numbers and email addresses. I have already purchased removals cartons, priced up storage and removals cost and have checked out a few rooms for rent.
She will know nothing about my whereabouts - and I need to decide whether I want to keep fighting for my marriage. I think now that I have run out of energy and the will to carry on because of the level of dishonesty, gaslighting and other vile insults from my Mrs.
I will also write a letter to her advising that all communication between her and I is to cease until/unless she can convince me that she has decided to end contact with OM permanently.
Michelle calls the the Last Last Resort Technique but I am taking it a step further and having no communication whatsoever with my wife. My father has agreed to be an intermediary for me.
I know this might end my marriage but what I have now is not a marriage anyway. It's an arrangement that allows my wife to cake-eat at my expense. I am 32 with no kids, and my life is important. I know that there will be a period of grief and that eventually I will find a W whom I know how to treat properly, and can actually love me in return.
W won't like that as she hates my dad, but if she wants to talk that is what she'll need to do.
I will only resume direct contact with my wife if she does the following:
NC letter, approved and couriered by me
NC letter sent also as an email to the 3 known email addresses for OM.
Deactivation of mine and WW's Facebook account
Deactivation of WW's Flickr account
Deactivation of WW and my Hotmail accounts - to be replaced by a joint one for us
Deactivation of my Skype account and WW's Skype account to be replaced by a joint one for both of us
WW's work email account to be changed - and me copied in on all emails so I am certain that it has been completed
WW and I take a trip away when OM comes to Sydney
Complete transparency about all passwords, cellphones, reading of emails, SMSs
MC with a proven programme for overcoming infidelity (WW still insists it wasn't an affair because we were "broken up")
All questions to be answered directly and honestly. Throughout our 9 years together - even the times we were deeply in love I have lost count of the number of times WW has answered a question and I have had to say "That's not what I asked..."
This is it. I know it probably isn't very DB but I am beyond the point of caring. Whatever I have been doing up until now, whilst working in terms of us having a good time together, has not even come close to restoring the marriage. Nothing can work until my W is willing to be trustworthy and until all contact with OM ceases for the rest of eternity.
Come on, hit me if you think I am wrong.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
