Trying2Live-Post #3

[Trying2live]

ALLW8,
Whew! I'm exhausted just reading. Ok I love the fact that you followed thru and did the class, that's freaking awesome! Did you see how he took notice of the confidence you exuded by going out. This right now, though it seems like its all about him it's really all about you. If you skip this and go straight for him I worry that your going to miss something really important. He needs to see your strength and confidence in what? YOU!

I'm not sure If I would tell him that you have someone helping you ditch him.

If you are uncomfortable about lying about where you are just don't say anything. You really don't owe him an explanation right now.

Girl, this is how I feel about dinner. If you so inclined feel to make dinner for the both of you fine, if you don't then don't, its ok for him to feel what it may be like should he go down the divorce route, he wouldn't be getting dinner daily. If you have extras then pack it for lunch, but I'm not liking the waiting around for him to decide(control) you on dinner. If you don't want to then don't make it. By you waiting around it's not a confident decision, its a decision all about him and its not about him right now, he's in the fog.
As far as what the C says, you don't really know what was said since you weren't there. Don't believe most of what they say right now.
I personally would not listen to any of that crap about the OW and the affair. That is not a confident position at all. I would find a sweet way to tell him you don't want to know about that relationship. If you ask that's one thing but him volunteering that information is wrong! Maybe something like, I'm really glad that you feel you can share with me and talk with me but I would rather not discuss the affair and the other woman, then SMILE and tell a funny joke and walk away. ITs all in the delivery. That boundary needs to be set.

I'm all for lingerie and maybe a lap dance but I'm not ok with pornography. Of course this is just my opinion. I feel your H has sexual addictions, does he? This almost needs to cleared up before your marriage does if he does.
When it comes to sex, just blow it off and say hey a girls gotta get her needs met so it doesn't matter to me if you lose respect for me because I love and respect myself and then SMILE! Its all in the delivery.
About this weekend start making plans NOW, set up dinner with a girlfriend, someone safe that you may like to get to know better.

Its so important to have girlfriends, i neglected this myself over the marriage and didn't find out till this happened how wrong it was. Can you set a goal of trying to go to lunch with a new friend(someone trust worthy safe and decent character-and it doesn't mean you have to share anything about the A. IN fact it might be a nice opportunity to converse about other things.) This would be a nice 180 opportunity for you, making new friends. I think you can do this because you GAL really fast. Can you do that?